late happenings

things that have been going on lately:

-waiting (things to do: go to a day-long adoption meeting. wait for birth-mom placement. finish raising dough. should i nest more??)

-learning more about patience and trust and grace. and how do you wait well? sometimes wish this came more naturally, but then we’d basically be perfect and what would be the point of needing God?

-2.5 years left of grad-school after december. oh. my. goodness. feels like we’re almost through mordor. bring it on mt. doom de dissertation!

-counting blessings in the small and big things (letting God bless me through other families allowing us to bask in their crazy. not sure how my heart is ok with this, sometimes it is not, but holding a new baby for a few hours on a couch and attempting adult conversation with a mama or eating supper with a family through the shrieks and laughs and risible questions has been super filling and restorative)

-researching baby names (asking for family names. searching through the pleathora of vacuous baby-name lists. going through old name lists i’ve recorded in old journals)

-experiencing waves of different emotions: anger, apathy, ok-ness, etc. (my most real description some days: “unbalanced”)

-matt is considering growing out his hair again. big news. #ifyougotitflauntit

-appreciating the surprisingly appropriate bible studies our church women have been leading: joshua, proverbs, ruth. all about waiting, patience, faith/trust and wisdom. ugh, my heart and mind are being stretched and pummeled. netflix and saucy historical fiction are not the solution…so thankful for a caring, wise group of women. they are good people.

“And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.” – Deuteronomy 8:2.

this verse struck and caused me to ponder “our infertility” dessert we’ve been wading through during bible study.  perhaps i am finally starting to see how God has been revealing and humbling our hearts. i have also started to accept the ways he has constantly been providing for us in ways we didn’t think to ask. he is good and his mercies are new every morning.

the end.

pulling on the vines

i got home saturday at around five from being gone all day. i saw some of our neighbors, but wanted to make a beeline for the comfort of my home, to bask in nothingness and see matt. however, i waved at a neighbor, and before i knew it, we were talking, while our neighbor next door and her daughter walked up. we began catching-up, strawberries were shared, and food was being made for the little one. then we started to look at her garden, finding ivy manipulating other plants, trees attempting to grow, random stones,  etc.

we started cleaning up the flower beds. we worked together, our hands digging into the soil to find the roots. matt took care of the little girl. a few beers were grabbed. another woman went to get her own tools and gloves. we pulled up the bad and tended to the good. we laughed and talked. one of the ladies kept gently guiding us as to what to work on next  and what plants were growing amongst our feet. our toss pile grew larger as we moved next door to my beds. we transplanted a rose and hydrangea plant. matt’s friend came over, and they hauled all our refuse to the trash. three huge wagons full.  each person was integral to the impromptu three hour gardening  session.

it was beautiful.

to work so closely together, caring without words, encouraging each other while we dug out stumps, laughing as we tugged at the stubborn plants or were attacked by a branch. in the end, as i finally walked into my kitchen, there was this beautiful sense of joy holding my heart. to see community as God intended and working the earth to see God’s glory, the entire experience was joyously unreal.

now to finish packing….

grandmammies and grambears

despite the 30 year pause in flying and notorious motion sickness, my grandmammie flew into atlanta last friday for a 5 day weekend. it had been quite a while since we had spent so much time together, even though we have lived together for a total of 2 1/2 years of my life (while in college and when I was a baby). i used to spend almost every other saturday night with her: shopping at talbots, watching an old movie, eating dinner, chatting with her elderly neighbor, etc. they are all very happy memories.

a few months ago, we were excited to know that gram had found tickets and was willing to come for fall break. we had incredible pizza at slice and pint (the carlos was unbelievably delicious), spectacular ice-cream at butter and cream (the cashew creme brulee and bourbon toffee were divine), perfect latkes and bagels at the nearby bagel palace, etc. thanks for making your way over to the humid southern jungle, grandma 🙂

grammy at southern sweets bakery (best cake in town)

determining our cake for the day. went with coconut.

grammie waiting for her omelet and bagel (whole wheat with strawberry cream cheese)

grammie and matt walking into piedmont park with midtown in the distance.

my ginger boy exploring

matt trying out the camera

baseball fields

first lamp post of atlanta, but not first red head…

gram-bear at the bagel palace

atlanta

almost unpacked. so many helpful hands. loving the southern people more than i thought i would. taking a moving break from atlanta in the beautiful city of savannah with matt’s cousin. looking forward to settling with matt at our new place. thankful for all the people who worked and drove so many hours for us.

olympic memorial park