almost unpacked. so many helpful hands. loving the southern people more than i thought i would. taking a moving break from atlanta in the beautiful city of savannah with matt’s cousin. looking forward to settling with matt at our new place. thankful for all the people who worked and drove so many hours for us.
olympic memorial park
light outside st. louis museum of art.
we’ve stripped her down.
past any form of resemblance
her blank form
now bare
standing stoically alone.
her once adornment and warmth
temporarily confined in cardboard piled high
till nothing’s left.
walking past
with blank faces
at the things we call “ours”.
i have not missed them:
our brown packed possessions
hidden inside
awaiting a new place
that we’ll embellish
and call ours.
the things we say we need
want
to fill up a space
we live
and love within.
all to be moved and forgotten.
i am sitting here tutoring. all our windows are open trying to coax in a breeze. beginnings of packing piles have started to appear in our shadowed living room. matt has started to find boxes around town and we pack them as we find them. one bookcase is near empty with five heavy boxes beside it. who knew how many boxes it took to unload one bookcase?
last week we got back from atlanta. we had been on a vacation with my whole family through alabama and louisiana. while driving between sites, we stopped in mobile to tour the USS Alabama. it was a very solemn journey peering into the bowls of the ship that had gone through many years of wars. the halls and passageways, pictures and flags, guns and ammo, beds and lights, created a sense where only reverence could be felt.
the ship commanded patriotism. demonstrated what men before us endured for our country.
one of the ship’s crews
a gun stationed on the deck
the bottom of the boat, where they loaded the big guns
deck anchor chains
more pictures of the crew
assortment of stamps
love the look
wedding invitations
with colorful arrays of stamps
more non-conformists
like my sisters
whose v-day notes were just emailed
thanks to the web
and my too lazy heart.
we have heard back finally
from a school
that is not IU.
i have been hesitant to talk about it
since it is in atlanta
and we do not know
our other choices.
my heart has been still
waiting
waiting
for another letter.
while i was excited for atlanta’s response
happy that they saw
my husband–
our future suddenly
becomes blurred.
the wheel has been taken
from my white-knuckled fists
that were unknowingly clenched.
what streets will i walk tomorrow?
the babies i want–
where will we have them?
or what agencies will
we find to work with?
how long will it take to drive home
to my mom
and my crazy mass of sisters
and my dad?
can we leave a town
we have grown to love?
a church that is just starting to begin?
the faces that have grown
accustomed to my heart?
last night was the first time
someone
upon finding out about atlanta
asked if we accepted.
like there wasn’t another option.
didn’t try to tuck atlanta away
or ask about our options for IU.
it struck me. made me start to think.
push at my heart.
oh, God.
please reveal your path.
lady b 